Let me tell you a little bit about this stupid bitch of a time called my panic attacks. Basically the whole thing is one giant cycle. It doesn't stop once it starts. So I literally am just spinning like clothes in a washing machine. If you could see my thoughts, you'd get dizzy. It starts with anxiety about anything really nothing relevant or important or worth getting anxious over. Just happens. Then comes the frustration that this keeps happening and that I really don't know how to stop it. The frustration leads to leads to wanting to reach out to someone and ask for help but then leads to feeling like no one wants to help. This leads to even more frustration. Which then goes back to anxiety.
It doesn't stop. it's a great time. it pisses me off. I literally cannot get motivated to do anything. I cannot focus or even think clearly. So I'll sleep until it goes away. Then I will wake up and feel better. So i'll do this now.
Goodnight.
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“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”
- Søren Kierkegaard,
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